Re: Kiir's Gaming Topic (Reply #553 on: January 02, 2024, 04:15:32 am)

NEW POST: RANKING ALL THE VIDEO GAMES I PLAYED IN 2023

ahh, 2023. year of video games coming out. i played so many BRAND NEW video games this year. it's honestly unbelievable how many games i played that were also new. would you like to see them? of course you would. that's why you're here. today i am here to rank all the new games that no one has ever played before. this was the first time they were played. i have 25 games here on the table and i will take you through them one by one and discuss why they came out this year and all the things i have to say about them.

please sit down. take a look.

25. SONIC LOST WORLD

sonic is BACK baby in the way we never wanted! after his previous mainline game "Sonic Frontiers" was relatively well-received, sega decided in their usual fashion that that was enough of good sonic games. it was time to release a bad one! when this game becomes 10 years old in 2033 i'm sure people will have many things to say about it such as the villains being "one-dimensional" or whatever, but personally what tore off my fingers one by one is that this game sucks ass at explaining its mechanics. the digital manual literally does not tell you that there are two different homing attacks that do different things and they are on different buttons. by the time you reach a point where the parkour or alternate homing attack is required, you probably haven't used it because the game is literally easier when you dont, but uh-oh! there's a bottomless pit if you DON'T use it, and we never forced you to learn the mechanic in a safe environment! have fun, freak!

24. WARIOWARE: GET IT TOGETHER!

i'm gonna get it out of the way and admit that warioware is NOT for me. something about the fast-paced microgames makes my heart panic so much that i legitimately feel like i'm having a heart attack. it's not that serious, but my heart doesn't know that. anyways, i liked "WarioWare Gold" in spite of that but this one didn't do it for me. playing as each character in a space where they can move freely and have their own abilities sounds cool in concept, but it adds an extra element of puzzle solving when the game randomizes your character between each microgame and you have approximately 3 seconds to remember what this character's gimmick is and figure out how to use it to win. some characters are also just awful to use and make certain microgames way harder than they should be. get it the heck together wario.

23. SONIC MANIA

sonic also had a 2d game this year called "Sonic Maina". i do not like 2d sonic, but i was really hoping this would be the one i liked because it was supposedly "very good". clearly i should have waited until it was about 7 years old so i could have seen this was not the case. nearly all of the original levels are fun, but every returning level from oldies sonic games was a drag. the fact that you can't save between acts is dumb as hell. like its 2023, it should at least be an option! i hope sonic gets killed or something i'm sick of this guy

22. OCTOPATH TRAVELER

i really wanted to like this one. eight main characters with their own story paths? and they all have unique field abilities? you can customize their jobs however you wish?? this sounds so cool! but the character's stories don't intertwine and the field abilities are actually shared between two characters, one in each pair being Better if you're willing to save scum. the amount of grinding required for this game probably takes up over half of the total playtime, because there's truly no way to just wing it thanks to how steep the enemies' stats climb. the best part of the game is the party chats, which are EXTREMELY missable. the rest of the writing is pretty dull imo, i was eventually just skipping it. it's a shame because i actually liked the gameplay loop of finding enemy weaknesses and "breaking" their defenses, but i just wasn't willing to do like 5 hours of grinding between each chapter. sorry.

21. HUE

there's nothing super special to say except that the colour puzzles that were a little more in-depth than i expected them to be (which is awesome). there was also plot i guess. neat game that i got for free, though i feel like there are other indie games that do its stuff better.

20. TAIKO NO TATSUJIN: RHYTHM FESTIVAL

i got into the taiko games recently thanks to the rhythmic adventure duo pack, which may have been the perfect taiko no tatsujin games for me. rhythm festival was not as good but the coolest and best part about it was the full band mode they have, where a select number of songs have beat maps meant for four people to play together. there's a ton of different weird and quirky "instruments" to choose from for each song. even playing with CPUs is very fun and it makes me soooo sad that none of the dlc songs got beat maps for this mode. playing megalovania as the final level in this mode's story gave me the same rush as fighting a boss battle. it's awesome.

19. SUPER MARIO BROS WONDER

wow! both mario AND sonic got new 2d games this year?! that's so epic. good thing they didnt come out the same day or anything, that would have been tragic. anyways i haven't dabbled in this game very much but i feel like just one world is PROBABLY enough to make an opinion on it, right? daisy, yoshi, and toadette all being playable is peak. playing co-op is kind of scuffed though - i swear the camera switches players whenever it feels like it. sometimes it would just stay locked onto someone for a whole level and we could not get it to switch between levels, which made me go insane as someone who is used to playing single/first player and always has camera control LOL. it looks like it's going to be fun though! my one gripe is... why do elephante peach & daisy look like they are wearing big underwear. it genuinely drives me up the wall to look at and makes me not want to use the power-up. could they not make the dresses a little longer??

18. YU-GI-OH!: THE SACRED CARDS

i got back into yugioh this year because a friend of mine who had never seen it wanted to watch it with me. what a coincidence that they released this game in the year of our lord 2023 about the battle city arc in the original yugioh series! this game is awesome because you get to play as an avatar character and be besties with yugi and joey and just be the protagonist of this arc in the anime. it's also very funny because lets say HYPOTHETICALLY this game came out like 20 years ago and i played it as a kid, i would have been so heckin' bad at it because the duelist kingdom arc in the yugioh anime literally does not have rules and while the battle city arc introduces what is now used as the base of all yugioh rules, it's a very sudden transition that i'm sure child!me would not understand tribute summons being a new requirement. the fact that this game also adds elemental weaknesses (which doesn't exist in real yugioh) would really add some confusion as well! so it's a good thing i played this game in 2023 instead of in 2003 right ? haha

anyways this game is a little grindy but thankfully with the magic of savestates it's super easy to cheese. for some reason instead of there being rng when you enter a duel, your deck and the opponent's deck is determined after you finish your last duel. so if your opponent's starting hand pisses you off, you can just reload and duel some other chump to reroll the decks. it's so weird but hey, works for me!!!!!

(as an aside: i also beat pokemon tcg on the gameboy for the first time this year and that game ALSO has an exploit that literally lets you skip ANY duel just by pressing a certain combination of buttons mid-duel. i think all games should be crazy and messed up like these two.)

17. METROID DREAD

there's literally nothing wrong with the emmi sections. people are just bad at the game. i literally played this game as background noise so i beat every boss while only 50% paying attention it's so easy dude lol

16. METROID FUSION

man nintendo released TWO metroid games this year?! wow! honestly my feelings for dread and fusion are pretty equal, but i give fusion the slight edge for having a more memorable aesthetic and also the guy in the picture above. that guy is awesome. i also just really like the visuals, it was really bold of them to use gba-looking sprite art in 2023 but i welcome it with open arms.

15. HARVEST MOON: ONE WORLD

so for those who don't know: the "Harvest Moon" name in the modern day is not used by the people who actually made harvest moon. when the original devs wanted to start publishing their own games, natsume held onto the name (presumably because it's one of their only franchises that makes money or something idk). this is the first time i've played a "Harvest Moon" game by natsume developers, and i think it was pretty solid! the character writing and design could use a bit more work, but they simplified the crop growing aspect by letting you get seeds for free and also letting you plant them in any season. there are even DOZENS of crop mutations, meaning there's probably over 100 crop types in this game! my one gripe is that pre-release images made it seem like animal buddies were going to be a big feature (all the marriage candidates had an animal in their character bios) but aside from befriending wild animals to add to your farm, this didn't end up being the case. oh well! i'm interested to see what this team can do next tho!

14. TINY DRAGON STORY

an indie game i found for sale for under $5 on the Nintendo Switch, in this one you play a 2d platformer adventure where you are a little dragon who has to get back all the treasure that was stolen from them. in every level there are 3 treasures hidden somewhere so it's a fun, short, and chill platforming game! as an aside: i found the dev who makes this game and they have a TON of gameboy-inspired games on itch.io that are all also dirt cheap so i'm hoping to play some of those in the new year. :)

13. SHOVEL KNIGHT: SHOVEL OF HOPE

wow it's so crazy that no one is talking about this new indie game that came out in 2023. i think it would be really popular if people gave it a chance. anyways this game would NOT be ranked this high if it were not for the "Phase Locket", which i genuinely think should be an item in every 2d platformer. i cannot BELIEVE how early in the game they give this to you. this game has some really cool levels by the end, though it is frontloaded with a batch of awful levels. wouldnt blame me if i played this game years ago and i stopped after like 3 levels because the first levels are so dull. the background in plague knight's stage also made me feel ill because of how the colours change. very unfortunate that the accessbility options didn't affect that.

12. SONIC SUPER SLUGGERS

sonic plays baseball with all of mario's friends! this is really such an interesting crossover game that i can't believe got made, but that's just part of the craziness of 2023 game releases! i appreciate that the story mode lets you instantly do the final boss if you really want to, OR you can also recruit a team of freaks across the island first. the scouting mission are kind of hit-or-miss, while i appreciate that they can be short and quick, they feel very tutorial-y and will force you to engage with mechanics that just do not matter because they are too finicky to pull off in an actual game. this game is also significantly easier to play with motion controls because wiggling the controller will just do actions automatically. the craziest thing about this game tho is that mario isn't in it. maybe he had a cold?

11. SLIME RANCHER

this game came to me when i was in a bit of a depressive rut. i didn't want to "Think" while playing a game, i just wanted to make my own goals and not feel obligated to follow checklists or anything. this game was perfect for that. i love collecting slimes. i think the thing i appreciate the most about this game is that the slimes can't "Die" if you don't feed them, so you're free to go explore the world for days on end even before you have the means to set up auto food dispensers. you can pretty much choose to ignore whatever mechanics or "quests" that you want and you're never forced to learn about anything, and i appreciate that a lot.

10. ELEBITS

elebits is a konami game that is basically reverse pikmin. instead of growing little freaks to do your bidding and do big jobs for you, you instead catch the little freaks in your Gun and use their power to throw heavy objects around. the first 10 or so levels are pretty standard as they introduce you to the game and its mechanics as you catch elebits around the house, but after that you start being let into The City and department stores and the amusement park and like... nasa maybe? and thats when it gets CRAZY. the sequence of anti-grav levels were probably my favourite, but the last handful of levels really let you build your strength to the point where you can move blimps in the sky and possibly even The Moon and entire buildings. there's also a level editor where you get an empty version of any map in the game and you can put any items you want into it. funny little game.

9. XENOBLADE CHRONICLES 3: FUTURE REDEEMED

i was genuinely scared to play this dlc when it dropped because xenoblade hasn't really had a good streak of good extra campaigns between xenoblade 2 dlc and future connected. but this one made me go pretty crazy and somehow put xenoblade 3 third on my list for most played switch games this year. the amount of love for xenoblade 1 genuinely made me cry and finally having a major lgbt+ rep in xenoblade that didn't get edited out in localization is sooooo cool. my one gripe was that there wasn't really much for xenoblade 2 fans to bite onto? most of yall probably know i'm a xenoblade 2 disliker, but even i felt so underwhelmed when i noticed half of the main cast in xeno 2 doesn't get referenced and there's only like two xeno 2 areas that get remixed into the landscape. rex is also a completely different character now and it was disappointing that there wasn't a shred of his younger self in there. but who cares ALVIS IS NON-BINARY LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

8. POKEMON INFINITE FUSION

this is genuinely the ONLY good kanto game out there. pokemon company does not know how to make kanto a good region, so thank god the fans went into rpg maker and literally built it from scratch for this game. i imagine most people here have probably seen this game at least once on the internet so i won't focus on how cool the fusion aspect is (but know that it's VERY COOL), but instead highlight just how replayable this game is. on top of the fusions providing nearly infinite combinations to work with, there are also built-in randomizer options that are very customizable. you can even set it so all the battles are double battles! there's also just so much content between post-game (most of johto and the sevii islands are in the game), sidequests, and all the legendary quests you can do. i also cannot stress enough that they rebuilt kanto from scratch. every town/city has a unique flair to it and they even redo routes and plot areas. i loved this game so much that i even nuzlocked it for a second playthrough, and i'm excited to play it again in the future when they add more pokemon.

7. HADES

i do not like roguelikes. they always look so boring too me. which is why it's very unfortunate that they seem to be the dominate genre of indie games recently. HOWEVER, in 2023 this little known game called "Hades" came out and what made me jump on this one was the greek-mythos theme and also the fact that it had gay people in it. something about getting better at this game feels really good. it has lots of checklists and collectibles that keep me engaged - i've genuinely still not beaten hades even once. i always go into a run thinking "ok! i'm going to collect boons from these gods so i can get gems to customize my bedroom :)" and then i would get to hades boss fight and go uhh. uhh oops i'm not equipped for this boys. like idk why zag wants to leave so bad i'm just having fun bringing back goodies for the home. this is a new game and i don't know if it'll take off but i do hope that future games take note and start making games that appeal to me more often.

6. THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: TEARS OF THE KINGDOM

i'm hopping on the train a little late for this one, but i made it in time! so far i've only done one dungeon but i think i've put in enough hours to have a prrrrretty confident opinion on this game? it's great! i've seen some people complain that it's not changed enough from botw, but as someone who is discovering that they know the botw map a lot better than previously realized, i HEAVILY disagree!! almost every area in the game has been remixed in some fashion and it has been a lot of fun noticing these landscape differences. i also somehow went all these months without ONCE seeing "The Depths" online, which is SUCH a cool area and gives me that same sense of danger i felt exploring botw for the first time (which i don't really experience with totk's surface thanks to the lack of guardians or any enemy to truly replace them).

a lot of things in totk are an improvement over botw, but i do think i actually like botw a bit more... botw had a very different vibe. the world is strange, dangerous, and desolate. totk has a much more hopeful and prosperous vibe, where everyone is rebuilding and branching out after botw ended. it absolutely makes sense for it to be like this and i don't think it's a bad thing! i just preferred botw more. i also feel like totk is a bit more "tutorial-y" and is weirdly more limited in how you deal with situations? with ultrahand becoming your main tool, i feel like the other abilities can get easily forgotten and are overall a lot more situational than any of the botw runes were. botw's runes were broad enough that you could solve any problem with almost any of them (on top of your normal capabilities), but as sick as totk's new abilities are, your ass is NOT solving shines in unintended ways using "Rewind" or "Ascend". and honestly i've found the shrines to be kind of annoying because instead of expanding on your existing knowledge, i feel like i'm learning a new tool for each one and its like man... just let me do a normal shrine or something.

i alsoooo expected more ganondorf content. idk. i didn't want him to just be in the memories i guess, and even in there its just villain moments and not characterization. dude i just want to walk into gerudo town and have an npc talk about him or something. but i dont think this game has anything like that.

anyways. the game is still very good and i keep staying up until 6am playing it. i'd be playing it right now if i wasn't typing this.

5. STORY OF SEASONS: A WONDERFUL LIFE

i know, i know!!! this is a very controversial one. "why is this game so low?? it's the game of the year!!" look, this is a remake of a masterpiece. "Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life" is the best farming game of all time for the sheer fact that it leans more into life sim than farming. it's the only game in this franchise where you can watch your kid grow up and watch your own character grow old. NOT TO MENTION!!! THE REMAKE REMOVES "GENDER" BY LETTING YOU CHOOSE PRONOUNS (INCLUDING THEY/THEM) AND ALSO ALLOWS GAYS!!!!!!!!!!! dude this game is good. there are a couple character redesigns i disagree with (namely cody/gordy, they made my mans a TWIG) but it's a very faithful remake with solid QoL changes and fun small additions! but i felt like i had to place it at "Number 5" because we all KNOW this game is good. it won "game of the year" when the original came out. we all know this. so i'm letting it take a backseat so we can highlight other wonderful games. please understand.

4. THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: MAJORA'S MASK

in 2023 the zelda devs managed to get TWO zelda games out thanks to reusing assets from previous games. it was a bold move to use n64 ocarina of time assets the modern day but i really think it paid off! the vibes of this game are immaculate. honestly my favourite thing about this game is just existing in the world and looking at it. it's so crazy what they managed to do by recycling ocarina of time's models and textures (and also making tons of new ones). i think if i played this game as a kid and i wasn't scared of time limits in video games, i would have gone soooo crazy over it. i'm not done it yet and i'm not sure where it ranks on my zelda rankings, but regardless i'm already excited to replay it someday in the same way i've replayed ocarina of time way too many times.

3. PIKMIN 4

they let this game cook for YEARS and my god it was worth it. this one takes the best of all the pikmin games and somehow manages to improve every aspect of it. i don't dread the caves like i did in 2. having all the pikmin types in one game is fantastic (though i wish they let you get the onions for more of them sooner). there's a mode where you play as olimar and basically relive pikmin 1 but in the new maps?? genuinely the only thing that stops this from easily being my favourite pikmin game is that pikmin 1's short length is a huge boon. i also think some of the areas in this game aren't as "interestingly mapped" as previous games and i wish there could have been a token throwback area (which they had some throwback dungeons so that satisfied me), but i'm otherwise so happy with how this game turned out. it's good.

2. THE MURDER OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

my god they actually did it. anyways this game is PEAK. no joke i think this is the best sonic game in the last 15 or so years and is one of the best sonic games PERIOD. the little sonic running sections are a little rough for me but of course the gem is this game's writing. the last time i enjoyed sonic writing was black knight, so this game was such a delight to have everyone go back to being actual characters instead of whatever they've been doing since colours. easily THE best april fool's joke i've ever seen, and i sincerely hope sega is letting this team work on more VNs or literally any other sonic game because. its good!!!!! aaaaahhhhh sonic i love sonic i missed him so much!!!!!!

1. MOON

"MOON RPG REMIX ADVENTURE" is a game that is described by the developers as an "anti-rpg". it was released in 1997 and went untranslated until *checks if it's time to make this joke again* the year in question of 2023. it was made by ex-Square employees including the minds who would go on to make "Chulip" and also the artist of "Super Mario RPG". perhaps more notoriously in the present day: it is THE game that inspired toby fox to make "Undertale"... and my god you can see it literally as soon as you boot up the game, and then for the entire journey to the end.

everything about this game is fantastic. it's full of memorable freak npcs and the writing is very quirky and silly. you're dropped into the game pretty unceremoniously and are almost completely on your own to figure out the rules and lore of the world (better hope you have the instruction manual or you'll probably get a game over on the first day!). unless you're using a guide, you'll definitely end up following npcs around to learn their schedules and figure out what makes them tick. you're going to do some weird experiments to figure out how to save certain monsters. this game also interestingly has a somewhat customizable soundtrack, where outside of a handful of areas that have their own set bg music, you can buy records and make your own playlist that plays while you're out and about (and there are some BANGERS out there!!!!).

it genuinely blows me away that this rerelease seemingly flew under the radar after it quite possibly shaped the way modern indie games are written thanks to undertale's success. if you are a fan of either chulip or undertale, i give a big recommendation of this game. it's sometimes very obtuse, but it feels super satisfying to figure things out for yourself when you can. just avoid the fishing contest, ok? there's nothing but misery there.

anyways. that was it. that was every game that released in 2023. there were no other games. can't wait to see what crazy games come out in 2024! thanks for reading. game on, gamers.